The First Trimester with Baby #2

I should have been more tipped off to the "you're probably pregnant" vibe when I started feeling nauseated. Food tasted funny in my mouth despite enjoying those same foods just a week prior. I talked myself out of it, however, because I was never sick or nauseated with Grace. Nausea wasn't part of my last pregnancy, why would it start now?

That was just the beginning of the completely wrong ideas I would be having about how this pregnancy would go.

Mind you with Grace I rarely felt pregnant, especially in the first trimester. Other than going to the doctor and seeing the baby on the ultrasound I didn't really have a lot of pregnant lady symptoms.

This pregnancy has been nothing like the last one. From day one I felt nauseated. It started in the morning and usually lasted all day. Saltines and DDP-CF (caffeine free) seemed to get me through. At the six week mark I started to spot. It scared me. I told myself "I knew this was too good to be true," but clung the the nausea as proof that things were still going strong. After a little more spotting the next day and a little more nausea, I was in the clear.

From that point on I learned that if I ate specific foods that I would feel better. They had to be salty and full of protein. Peanuts, eggs, string cheese, and more fast food than a person ever wants to admit they have eaten. I drove through Taco Bell twice in one day. I spent a week eating Wendy's homestyle chicken sandwiches for lunch or dinner. I craved greasy, salty fries and burgers. I would trek to Five Guys or In-N-Out to really treat myself. You know how on normal occasions after you eat fast food and you feel greasy and heavy and yucky afterwards? I would eat it and feel amazing. I hated myself for how good it made me feel. But it curbed the nausea for long stretches and I was in complete and total survival mode.

Sweets were the enemy. Pure and simple. As a sweets loving person this was really hard for me. I wanted sweets, but this baby did not. It was hard to back off my normal inclinations for things like sweets. I would go places and add them to my plate but as soon as I took the first bite I would be sick and the nausea would stay an unwelcome guest. I remember having a few bites of cheesecake at a Relief Society meeting and it was a huge mistake.

My system completely slowed down. My insides felt like they were in a constant battle. Do you blame them? Nothing but fast food and hormones, I'd back up too. I was (and sometimes still am) about 2 seconds away from banging on Jamie Lee Curtis' door and begging for an IV of pure Activia.

Hormones. I remember crying once or twice while pregnant with Grace for completely unjustified reasons. Once was after ruining waffles. I started crying and just couldn't stop. Now I have zero control over my emotions. I cried during the trailer of the Hunger Games. Not even the movie, but the trailer. While we were in Utah Aaron and I took Grace to a playplace at McDonald's to let her run around. While Aaron was getting us some ice cream Grace got completely knocked off her feet and leveled by a boy running around the structure. She started to cry, and so did I. The little boy kept trying to apologize and I was trying desperately to not let him or his mother across the room know that I was crying because Grace had gotten knocked over. I cried for a good 5 minutes. I felt so stupid. I cry during commercials or when people say nice things to me. Thank goodness I always wear water-proof mascara.

I can say most of these things in the past tense now. At 14 weeks along things are tapering off and I'm starting to feel more normal. I can survive the day without eating fast food, and I have welcomed sweet treats back into my life with open arms. I still prefer super salty foods, but I can get away with most things just fine. I feel like I'm starting to show, although Aaron is still yet to be convinced.

I have no inclinations one way or the other about what gender we are having. I'm a little trigger shy at placing a guess. I was dead convinced that Grace was a boy, and was totally floored when they said girl that it took me a good week to wrap my mind around things. This time I am not leaning one way or the other and would honestly be happy with either. This baby was such a surprise that it can come however it wants to and we'll be happy.

The number one question people are asking me is "Do you guy have any names you like?" With a calm and grounded confidence I can tell people that we have no names. Not even a small or short list. Aaron likes to play the "name game" after we know what we're having, and I like to play the name game two years before we even start trying. So we have played it a few times laying down names that we like on the table and we have learned pretty quickly that we don't like the same names. Naming Grace was really easy. From day 1 of our marriage Grace Katherine was our favorite girls name, it required no discussion. Now, neither of us is dead set on a name and the ones we both love the other doesn't like in the slightest. This goes for both girl names and boy names. It should be an interesting process naming this baby.

I can't believe 3 months have already gone by, but I'm looking forward to the second trimester and finding out what gender B. Barns the Dos is.