One year ago I found myself here. Contracting, laboring, and waiting out those last few hours before I was to meet my second child. My son.
Nothing can prepare you for the moment that you see your baby for the first time. You don't know what he is like, you don't know how he will impact your family, your schedule, your sanity. But you don't really care about those things. In that moment time is still, every one of your senses takes in what is happening. As your eyes study that face and happy tears start to fall. Everything is raw and real and you are truly living in the moment, because nothing is better than this.
We named him Christian Clark. A name, when we uttered out loud for the first time, fit so perfectly that I refused to acknowledge that any other name existed. We got acquainted that day, with each other, as a family. Each one of us expanding our hearts and growing as we fell in love with this tiny little bundle.
Those memories are so strong. I remember kissing those tiny soft lips for the very first time. "Hello baby." But on that day I had no idea where we would be a year from then. I didn't know the struggles, the frustrations, the peace, the love, and ultimately the growth that would occur in our family the year after Christian was born.
There is something special about this boy. I don't really know how to describe it. But the three of us fell hard for him. Aside from a few eating struggles Christian has always been peaceful and mellow.
It was a rough year. Aside from the standard discomforts of growing and learning how to be a family of four, we waded through some crazy schedules, and struggles. We were definitely thrown into the refiners fire this year, although sometimes it just felt like we were on fire running around like crazy people trying to put it out. But through all of the chaos there was a calm, snuggly, and loving little boy. His personality seemed to balance out the hectic. I honestly think he was meant to come at this time in our lives. If he was just as crazy as the rest I'm sure we would have imploded somehow.
Unfortunately, due to us going out of town, we had to take Christian to his one year doctors appointment on his birthday. Nothing says happy birthday quite like getting stabbed with needles....
After presents we got set up in the backyard for Christian to smash some cake.
After a couple of bites he was done. Although not a huge cake destruction but still a job well done.
To our Christian Clark
We love you!