I have been avoiding the Toddler Bed Transition like the plague. Here's a little (or a long...a very very long) background.
After the
pacifier break-up, and the
update, things went a little downhill. Nap time became a battle everyday and it was very hit or miss whether or not Grace would take one. Then bedtime started the slippery slope into nightmare-ville. Grace has never been one to fight going to bed, perhaps at someone
else's house in a different environment she might cry, but at home it's cake. Suddenly, in the midst of not napping she started throwing tantrums about going to bed at night. One night she threw a tantrum on an off for and hour while in her crib. Aaron and I kept looking at each other and saying "What are we doing?" "What happened?" and "Are we doing the right thing?" Early the next morning I contacted my go-to for advice. We talked about the situation, mulled things over, and decided perhaps that Grace wasn't tired enough at night (thus leading to the tantrum throwing) and we needed to cut her nap, but pet her to bed earlier in the evening. I have heard of kids cutting their naps early on and I figured Grace might just be one of those kids.
Monday was day one, we were cutting the nap. It worked! Day one was a success. We made it to 7pm and she was begging for her crib. I was worried it would be stressful not having her nap, but we were able to run errands and go places when we'd normally be at home "nap-battling" it out. I was totally on board with the new plan. Day two and day three were similar. I was hoping that we were finally, finally finding our groove again. Day four and day five took a turn. Grace started throwing tantrums in the middle of the day, and overreacting to the most insignificant things. She was spending more and more time in time-out. I could tell most of her behaviors were stemming from exhaustion, so I decided to start implementing "quiet time." I was hoping that if I provided an opportunity for her to have time to herself to read and play quietly, that her desperately tired body would allow her to fall asleep. She didn't sleep a wink, but amazingly she stayed in her room and seemed to be behaving a little bit better after having that time to herself.
It was also around this time that Grace started having night terrors. She would wake up an hour and a half, almost on the dot, every night screaming and crying. She would beg for me while I held her in my arms and whispered, "Mama's here, I'm right here, I've got you." Night terrors are by far one of the worst things ever. It is the strangest feeling to have your child look you in the eyes and scream for you, and while you look back knowing that they are safe and you are there, there is nothing you can do in that situation but wait it out. I spent many a night holding her in my arms and crying too. There were some nights where she would have night terrors two to three times. Some nights she would have them and she would wake up and be up forever. Although quiet time and an early bedtime seemed to be going well, the night terrors did not seem okay. I kept saying to Aaron "I feel like I'm doing something wrong."
I did some research on night terrors and came across and interesting article. It stated that night terrors happen in 4% on children. Of those 4%, a small number of children get them because they are overly exhausted. A lightbulb went off, I knew that had to be what was going on with Grace. I took more calculated action with quiet time. I made sure that her room was dark and did my best to promote a relaxing environment, hoping, yet again, that she would choose to sleep during that hour. She never did. There were days where I was super tired, and opted to sleep on the bed in her room and try to get her to sleep in her crib. It was hit or miss, but I did notice that once she fell asleep she would stay asleep for a really long time. The night terrors continued, and even started happening during her naps on the days that she would nap.
One Sunday, Aaron and I were both tired and in need of a nap. Knowing that we couldn't nap unless Grace napped, we took a different approach hoping to coax her into sleeping as well. Selfishness at its best people. After lunch, we closed all of the blinds in our apartment, we got Grace into her jammies, and then sat together as a family on the couch and read a couple of books that Grace picked out. Grace then helped tuck Aaron in for his nap, and I went and put Grace down for her nap after singing her a few songs. Grace didn't fight me once. I walked away and blew her a kiss on my way out. And she slept. Boy did she ever sleep, I'm talking 3 hours of sleep. I was floored.
The next day I tried the new method again. And she slept. And I put her down a little later that same evening, and she slept then too. And I tried the next day, and the day after that, and she slept and slept again. Her mood and behavior started going back to the "old Grace" that she once was. The night terrors continued for a little bit afterwards. She would get them during naps and at night, but they started to phase out, and then they completely stopped. It was a miracle. I realized with the new napping method that Grace needed time to "wind down" before her nap. If she was overly stimulated, she wouldn't sleep regardless of how tired she was. She is the type of kid that gets more hyper and active when she doesn't sleep, and I don't think she would ever choose to fall asleep on her own, which is why quiet time wasn't doing the trick.
Finally, after 5-6 weeks of trial and error and serious prayers for patience, we had found our groove once more. There was no way on this planet that I was going to try and transition her into her toddler bed. I took away her pacifiers and felt like we paid for that for weeks. I didn't have the mental stamina for a big-girl bed transition.
A couple of weeks ago, Aaron and I put the finishing touches on the kids room. We got the frames hung on the wall and got the bedding and pillows for the twin bed. Once everything was put together, Grace started taking interest in the twin bed. A few times when I would put her down for a nap she would point to the bed and say "I sleep here?" We didn't have any roll-proof protection and I wasn't ready to transition her, so I always said no.
While I was at my baby shower, Aaron and Grace spent some quality time together. He took her to Target to run some errands and while he was there he picked up a roll-guard for the twin bed, which he installed once they got back home. At nap time Grace asked if she could sleep in her big-girl bed and Aaron agreed. He even had the brilliant idea of taking the comforter and blankets off so the bed would seem more like her crib. He told her that if she got out of her bed that she would be put back into her crib. When I got home from the shower, I was greeted by Aaron telling me to be quiet because he was pretty sure Grace was asleep on her big-girl bed for the very first time. I was in shock, I couldn't believe that she was actually asleep on that bed and not playing around in her room. That night we gave her the option of where she would like to sleep, and she chose her crib. After another successful nap in her big-girl bed the next day, Grace decided she wanted to go for the long haul and sleep in it overnight. Blankets off, roll-guard up, Grace spent her first night in her big-girl bed. I didn't sleep very well that night, afraid she was going to injure herself, and I checked on her about 47 times. But she did great. She took up a ridiculously small fraction of the bed, but she made it through the night and called for me the next morning once she was awake.
Night number two was equally as successful. We put the pillows and comforter on the floor at the base of her bed which is the only spot where she could fall. She got a more "vertical" hang of things as far as laying on the bed goes.
Once we were sure she was used to the bed, we introduced the comforter (and the down blanket at the base of the bed for roll protection). Which I realized is another transition for her since she never slept with a blanket covering her while in her crib. Blankets and pillows were a whole new concept for this girl.
A close up of my cute sleeping babe, who seems to be growing up by the second these days.
When Grace wasn't feeling well one day, she opted again for a nap in her crib. I think perhaps the comfort of something familiar was just what she needed on a sick day. But since that day she has been rockin' it out on her big-girl bed. Slowly and steadily becoming an old pro.
Thank heavens for Aaron and his willingness to bite the bullet when I was so scared to do so. He let Grace be the one to make the call, and that was just what she needed. I am so grateful that this transition went seamlessly when the pacifier and napping change were such a headache.
No pacifiers? Sleeping in a twin bed? My baby is growing up.
