Monday, November 7, 2011

Sandpaper Throat and Embarassment

I woke up early this morning. Early, in the life of me, is sometime before 8:30am (blame Grace and her magnificent sleeping-in habits). It was 7am. 6:57am to get unnecessarily specific. My throat had been sandpapered by evil cold giving elves and sleep was no longer an option. I heard Aaron outside and started talking when the combination of a witch being tortured and a chain smoker's voice parted from my lips. It was rough. Aaron got me some medicine and water, and took my temperature. He's the best. He then left for work and I vowed that today I was going to do nothing.

It worked nicely that it was quite dreary outside.
 My covers begged to be snuggled in. And I was more than happy to answer their call.
 Shortly we were joined by Miss Grace. Where more fun was had.
And when her defenses were low I went straight for the belly tickle. Sister friend didn't even see it coming.
 We took breaks in our lazy morning to eat and to make turkey and Thanksgiving crafts (because by golly I'm going to acknowledge this holiday!). The remains of our hand turkeys were printed on our fingers.
Despite a good handwashing the marks stood strong.
Upon closer inspection Grace felt like she had enough know how to tackle the situation.
 Yep, this ought to do it.

After lunch and an episode or two if Dora, I sung and put Sister down for a nap. I sat on the couch. My brain felt fuzzy and swirly from the cold and I was tired. Then I heard a pound on the door. Thanks to extremely thin doors I could hear pounding on my neighbors doors as well. I heard the maintenance staff call to my neighbor "Inspection!"

I had an internal panic attack. I had received the flier days ago, but definitely didn't pay attention to it. I was floating dreamily in my lazy cold filled morning and the knock at the door ripped me right back into reality. I walked down the hall and there was a bra in the middle of the hallway, A BRA! I kicked it to the side and opened the door. Whispering ever so gently that my baby was asleep. The guy had to come in and walk through my entire apartment. When I turned around I saw what a mess it was. There were boxes of snacks and cereal and raisins opened all over the place. I did some kung fu moves that might have involved a stealth roll on the ground to retrieve the aforementioned bra and hid it in the laundry room. While he asked me a few questions I non-chalantly picked up and threw trash away, gathered dishes into the sink, and attempted to be calm cool and collected (I was not). He had to inspect my bathroom, "Let me check and make sure nothing is out..." The coast was clear but he would have to walk by my robe, a pile of jammies on the floor, and my completely unmade bed. As he walked out I noticed a pair of Grace's undies on the floor and my retainer on the counter top. I honestly stopped feeling embarrassed and started really feeling bad that this poor man had to witness these things in my apartment. It was over in record time and although my apartment passed inspection, I think my homemaker card is under serious reconsideration.

Next time I'll pick up items of clothing and put away retainers before opening the door. Don't be surprised if I leave you standing outside for 5 minutes before I let you in.

Now back to dreary fuzzy cold-sickness land.

5 comments:

Mema of 5 said...

You, seriously, are SO funny. A BRA! My question is, what is a bra doing in your hallway? Don't answer that. I'm sure the maintenance man saw a lot worse than your place. You might have things out of place but you are clean! And, since when do they do inspections? Is this BYU approved housing? Sorry you are sick. I wish I was there to baby you:(

McKenzie said...

Kara I LOVE your blog. Seriously, I should NEVER read it in public or at work. :) I like the idea of you doing a stealthy roll... :) Feel better soon! :)

Jessica said...

Same thing happened to me today!! The maintenance man showed up and I felt horrible, and I think I apologized to him about 8 times for the mess, while also saying "i'm sorry you've seen it such a mess. I swear we're clean people." Yes said maintenance man had been there only 3 days ago and witnessed a very familiar scene. Oh well...what can we do? :p

Marc and Miriam Deru said...

Kara, I've been a blogging slacker for a while now and haven't kept up with you-- sorry! But I just did a bit of reading back and your "fight" post really hit me hard-- I am so sorry! Aside from how much that makes me ache for you, I want to compliment you for being open about such a tough topic. Few people can do that and I so admire you for being able to share-- it makes me love and miss you even more. Take care and enjoy sweet Gracie. And FEEL BETTER, sand-paper throat! :(

Jamie said...

that totally sounds like something that would happen to me! i always find myself apologizing to maintenance for the mess when they come over, haha. hope you are feeling better!