A few days ago I found out that my Grandmother wasn't doing well. That night I laid in bed and cried. "Did she know? Did she know how much I loved her? Did I tell her that she played a huge role in making me the person that I am today?"
The next day my Mom held her cell phone up to my Grandmother's ear. I knew she wouldn't respond. In between sobs I tried to tell her how amazing I thought she was, how much I loved her. But all the things I wanted to say weren't coming out, all the beautiful thoughts and words I had created the night before just turned into mush as I sobbed and told her I loved her.
From that point on it was a waiting game.
At 10:00pm last night my Dad called. With all the strength and love that only a Dad could offer he told me my Grandmother passed away.
I knew it was coming. I knew what to expect. But it still hit me like a freight train.
I cried.
I cried for myself. I cried for my Mother. I cried for my family. The Matriarch of our family, the glue that held it all together, was gone.
In the moments after, the moments Aaron held me as I cried, I realized how intertwined my Grandmother was in my life.
The family gatherings, her famous salads, the sleepovers at her house, the frozen milanos after dinner, the paintings of all the grandchildren, her perfectly organized shoes, her hello and goodbye hugs, hearing her say "Oh my heavens!", her sweater vests, and the way she would squeeze you and say "Oh, I love you."
She was an amazing woman. I'm glad I got to call her my Grandmother
I'm glad that her life and Grace's life were able to overlap just a little so that I could see them together.
You will be missed Grandma.
11 comments:
Thank you, Kara!
What a beautiful woman, and what a beautiful posterity she has left. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family, Kara. I'm so sorry for your loss.
I'm sorry Kara! She seems so nice and I'm sure she was a wonderful person.
What a great tribute....You really have a way with words and I am sure that you meant as much to her as she did to you! We are sorry for the pain you all are going through but just think how great that reunion will be. That was the thing that helped when my grandpa passed. I just was so happy for him to think of all the wonderful people he was being reunited with and I was so excited to see him again eventually and tell him all the things he'd helped me accomplish. Hang in there!!!
She has to be awesome, look at you and your family! I love that first picture of you and her, she looks like a ton of fun and ready to party and the picture of her and Grace is just priceless. Love it! So sorry for your loss.
Beautifully said! Looking forward to seeing you and Grace as we say good-bye to Grandma one more time! Love you!
She sounds like an amazing woman. I am so sorry for your loss.
Lovely tribute, Kara;) I absolutely love that picture of you with her. I can just see her in the next life greeting her parents and loved ones. You were so lucky to have her in your life:)
Life is a crazy thing. I love the picture of her holding Grace. I'm sure you will treasure that. Our thoughts and prayers are with you and your family!
Kara- I didn't know your grandmother, and I didn't even know that you were related to the Merrells in our ward until I read this post. I VT Kay and so I've been ever so slightly involved in helping Kay and Amy out these past few days. My thoughts are with your family-- you are all such wonderful people.
Sorry about your Grandma. I love the pic of her dancing--you can tell that she was a fun, spirited lady. Glad she got to hang with your little bundle of joy for a few months!
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