What's in a Name?

For those of you who know me well, you knew that I was extremely stressed out about the name of this child. Pretty much the opposite of laid back and go-with-the-flow. Aaron and I couldn't decide on a name for the life of us. Finally, two days before our gender ultrasound we settled on a girl name, first and middle. I took it as a sign that we would have a girl since we actually agreed on something. Two days passed and we learned that we would have to put that name on the shelf since a little boy would be joining our family. So we were back to square one, not agreeing on anything. I wanted a more unique name, something that I hadn't heard a bizillion times before. Aaron wanted a more traditional name, one that he had actually heard of before. It was hard to fit both criteria into the same name.

We came up with a master list, and not a week later we scrapped every name on the list. When we found a name that we both felt okay about, we would give it a trial run of sorts. Taking a few days to mull the name over, find any unfortunate nicknames, see how it sounded when we talked about the baby, etc. Does this make us sound crazy? Well, mostly me. Aaron wasn't as gung-ho as I was in the trial run process. We agreed on a name at one point but there was one hang up that I couldn't get over. So yet again, we scrapped it. For whatever reason I was so worried about naming this child that I started praying that the right name would magically come to us. I was scared we would be in the hospital with the social security people breathing down our necks and me perspiring to the point of dehydration because we couldn't agree on something. I didn't want to compromise. I wanted both parties to love the name equally. Naming a child is a big deal and I didn't want Aaron or myself to just feel okay about something.

For a while I gave up on my name finding quest, mostly because I needed to take a serious chill pill. A few weeks later I approached the topic again. Grace was asleep, I was sitting on the couch and Aaron was standing at the countertop. I said, "Aaron I really want to find a name for this baby. I am honestly stressed out about it."Aaron responded, "Well maybe we're approaching it the wrong way. Maybe we need to be pairing names with middle names and then it might be easier." Aaron was such a trooper when it came to my pregnancy craziness. Such a good man. I said, "Okay, have anything in mind?" He said, "Nothing in particular, but what about Christian (and he paired it with a middle name)?" I liked it, I mean I really really liked it and I said as much to Aaron. No need to pair any other names, because the name Christian struck a serious chord with me. The name Christian had come up earlier, in passing, and I didn't really think anything of it, but in this moment it felt so very right. We talked about the associations we had with the name, all of them were positive, and decided to give it a trial run.

The more time went by the more I liked the name. I liked the way it sounded, I liked that it felt right, and I didn't feel weird referring to the baby as Christian. I was sold. After a few days Aaron said to me, "I'm not sold on the middle name we picked. I want it to mean something more, and I want to to pay homage to someone who means a lot to me." We decided then that our boy's middle name would be Clark.

Clark is the last name of one of Aaron's closest friends. (Clark is also doubly special for me since it is my Grandmother's maiden name). Aaron met Trey Clark while they were on their missions in Taiwan. Meeting Trey and becoming missionary companions with him was a huge turning point for Aaron. It changed him for the better and set him on the path that led him to me and to where we are today. We wanted our son to have his name not only for his influence but also for the type of person that he is. Trey is a great example love, loyalty, and perseverance and we hoped our son would follow in his footsteps. 

So there we had it, our son's name would be Christian Clark. I loved it. It felt right and more importantly it was special for us. I felt like my prayers were answered and the name did fall right into our laps. However, because I felt like the name was special I didn't want anyone to taint it. I didn't want to see people's reactions when they would ask what the name was, or hear about anyone that they knew with that name and how they were a tool in high school. So Aaron and I decided not to tell anyone. We also figured in keeping it a secret, that it would make "the big reveal" on his birthday more exciting. Boy did we get some mixed reactions when it came to telling people we were keeping it a secret. Lots of people were supportive, but some people didn't understand why it was such a big deal. Some people constantly guessed what it was, and others gave the baby nicknames (like A.J. for Aaron junior). It made the whole experience very fun.

We talked to Grace about Baby Christian and referred to him by name all the time. When his clothes were in the dresser they were Baby Christian's clothes, and we would say "Baby Christian will be coming soon." I think it helped Grace mentally prepare and associate the name with the baby when she actually met him. However, it also caused her to spill the beans a few times. Thankfully people couldn't really understand her but a few people did and it was so hard to stop her from saying his name when they would ask her "Are you excited for your baby brother?" Overall, we were able to keep it under wraps and by the time I was induced I was more than ready to finally share his name.

I love his name, the way it looks, the way it sounds and I'm so excited that we found something that we both loved. Although right now we call him Bubby, Bubbers, and CCB, he'll grow up and grow into the name we love so much.