I remember, a few weeks ago, writing that I was doing all of the pre-vacation stuff that can literally drive a person (me) insane. My friend Stephanie commented that the post vacation madness is far worse. I now whole heartedly agree.
Ever since returning home from the beach I feel as if reality has literally taken a board and smacked me in the face Tommy Boy style. ("Not so much here, or here, but riiiight here.") It seems like there are a thousand things going on and my brain has yet to catch up with me. Like I'm mentally drowning in a to do list that, despite my best efforts, doesn't seem to be getting any shorter. Throw a teething 10 month old and the fact that one of my best friends is moving away and you have one very unstable woman.
I broke down yesterday in a serious moment of defeat. Grace chose screaming and sobbing over sleeping and relaxing (I shake my fist at you angry teething gods!). Her naps are the moments when I regain my sanity, recharge my patience, and press onward. I dragged my feet into her room, burst into tears and told her over and over "I don't know what to do." The mental drowning got the best of me. For a few moments I laid on the floor in Grace's room and cried and wondered how on Earth I could pull myself out of the water catch my breath and keep swimming.
I thought to myself that I had to start doing something, anything. Sitting and mentally drowning weren't going to get me very far. I up from Grace's floor (and mentally added vacuuming to my To Do list) and fed her. Before I knew it, it was 7pm, Grace was asleep, the apartment was tidy, dinner was on the table, and Aaron was walking through the door. I made it. I stayed above water.
There are still quite a few things on my To Do list, one of them being blogging about the beach trip (which I sat down to do, but ended up writing this). But life moves forward and those things will get done eventually, I'll just keep swimming (thanks for the wise words Dori). Or maybe I'll transport myself to a pink raft and just float above the water. Put a Diet Dr. Pepper in my hand and I'd be set. I like that idea better "Just keep rafting..."
11 comments:
Sometimes the only way out is through. You made it through the day, and that to-do list will wait. Gracie won't.
your so called drowning makes me look pathetic! I know how you feel though! I should use your shaking fist tactic. I generally go with trying to logic with Saylie, saying things like, "use your words SayBear" or "if i could understand you I would certainly help you". Those things just make me look insane and thus, start feeling insane! Next time you feel like this just remind yourself, "Jenny would be way worse off than I am" and keep your chin up! hahah
dear kara.
i love you.
and i laughed out loud at your parenthesis of adding vacuuming to your to do list.
i thought of you yesterday, but i was way too busy throwing myself my own pity party to listen...i should have called you, and we could have lay on Grace's floor together and laughed instead...
when are we hanging out next? wait. i have a better idea. when can i come hang out with grace so you can cross off some to-do's?
Kara, my son is only one month older then Grace, and from reading your blog it seems like we both have very active babies that do not like to slow down! It is exhausting but enjoyable :) Every day is a new one and i have days just like yours. I started a blog too if you ever care to read it, www.expressionsofjack.blogspot.com
Take care!
Leah
Tylenol and teething tablets are what get me through those dang teeth. I like when doctors try and say that teething has no effect on them, sorry, such BS. Every tooth for my children involve a fever and runny nose, and extra fussiness and clingyness, and then I know a tooth will come in a few weeks. Good luck!
Oh Kara, I'm so sorry! I hate days like that, and what's worse is that we as moms are always way harder on ourselves than we need to be. Sometimes you just need to take a day (or two or three) and just let things slide, take a nap, let the laundry pile up, eat dinner at Taco Bell, and regain your composure. I have to remind myself of that ALL the time. And you know what? It's okay to be lazy some days. Otherwise I think I'd go insane!
Kara, you're definitely not alone. I had a day like yours on Monday and (tough as it was) made it through too. I'm sure that we're stronger for it. Please let me know if there's anything I can to do help. Hugs!
All I have to say is, Diet Dr. Pepper?! I thought Diet Coke was your drug of choice. Keep your head up!
I hope this next week is better!! I hate those sort of days. It is always so hard (and depressing for me) when I get back from vacation and have to deal with reality.
I TOTALLY hear ya girl. Recoverying from vacation is the worst, and it always makes me feel a little weird. I can't really describe it...just kinda puts you in a funk!
Also, we should totally get together because Colton is teething for molars and it has been the worst EVER. He needs me to hold him alllll the time, and is a fussy nightmare! I hate teeth...who needs them anyways?
ALso, napping is a mother's sanity. When Colton misses a nap, I feel SO helpless and usually totally lose it. You are in good company.
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