The Funny Thing About Love

My kids left this afternoon. My Mom took them on a flight to Houston to visit my sister and her family. It's all part of this crazy summer that is taking place. I'm driving down in a few days to pick them up, and until then, Aaron and I are packing, re-organizing, moving, and cleaning our little hearts out. 

Aaron flew in this morning, bright and early, on a direct flight from Buenos Aires. His trip had come to an end. We decided to do breakfast together as our little family before the kiddos headed to Houston with my Mom. As we drove to breakfast (CFA- I know you're not shocked), Aaron turned to me, "Is everything okay? You're being very quiet." And then, without warning, I burst into tears. "My babies are leaving today." Up until that point I hadn't really thought too much about them going to Houston, but in that moment reality hit hard. I had never been away from Grace longer than a day (when Christian was born), and I had never been away from Christian for more than a few hours.

From that point on I couldn't think about them leaving or I would cry. I fought tears as I drove them to the airport. Saying goodbye to Grace I tried not to let my sadness break through as I sent her off. As I kissed Christian's cheek the tears just couldn't be contained.

I waved goodbye's and said I love you's and made a very weepy drive home. After I walked through the door I crawled into Aaron's arms and cried. Full on crocodile tears streaming down my face. I missed my babies. Aaron wiped the tears off of my face and brushed the hair behind my ears. "This is going to be a good thing babe. They are going to have a blast."

As we headed to dinner I called my Mom. I wanted to say goodnight to the kids before I sat down to eat not wanting to miss the chance to talk to them before their bedtime. My Mom handed the phone to Grace, "Hi Mommy. We went to the airport with the airplanes and it was fun." I think I managed to say, "Hi baby, I miss you." And then I couldn't say anything else. Hearing her little voice over the phone sent my already emotionally charged self over the edge and hot, but happy, tears fell this time. I loved her, I missed her, and her little voice was just perfect. I couldn't respond over the phone so Aaron did all the talking.

We got off the phone, and for the 100 millionth time I composed myself. I turned to Aaron, "You know the funny thing about love is, when you're separated from those you love its almost painful. You can feel a physical difference." Love is a beautiful, wonderful thing and its also kind of a painful thing. Allowing yourself to be vulnerable to all sorts of roller coaster emotions kind of sucks sometimes. But then the sweet moments where you're so happy that tears start to fall fill in the gaps and the holes and the heartache that comes.

It's no surprise that there is a holiday completely dedicated to this blissful yet complicated emotion of love. One day a year to give ourselves the opportunity to try, in some form or fashion (usually with flowers or chocolates--- chocolate being my main language of love) to explain to those we love just how we feel about them. Apparently I need to tell my kids, "You make me cry a lot." Which doesn't sound very good, so maybe I'll stick with giving them candy instead.

This past Valentine's my kids were loved, in every form and fashion, with outfits from Meah and Poppy (photographed above), and candy and toys from Grandee and Papa.

I know I'm a lucky girl, and I know that these next few days will fly by and we'll be busy and I'll forget about all the weepiness and focus on how efficient we can be with the kiddos in Houston. But today was a good reminder for me as to how much I really love these babies of mine. I love them with all of those crazy complicated emotions in tow.