Last Few Minutes

I can't sleep. I struggled with the same problem on the very same day a year ago. The last few minutes before I fell asleep knowing that my world would never be the same. I know tomorrow that my baby will no longer be my baby, but will be my toddler, my little girl.

I'm so sad to see her baby days go. I want to remember every moment, soak up every memory and take nothing for granted. I want to remember the way she felt curled up on my chest, the way I cried every time she cried, the way we laughed when she peed on our comforter, the way it felt the moment we walked out of that hospital and it finally hit me that she was mine

I've grown a whole lot in these 365 days of Gracie. I was pushed to limits that I didn't know existed. I've felt a mix of feelings ranging from good to bad but always trumped by the fact that a piece of my heart resides in that tiny little body. No amount of frustration, annoyance, or exhaustion could make me love her less. She is mine, I am hers. We're bound in this crazy life and I love that.

I snuck into her bedroom about 47 times tonight just to watch her sleep. Most of the time I replayed the memories of those 11 months in my mind. The good, the bad, the ugly, you name it, I replayed it. I wanted to be there in the moment soaking up every last little particle of Grace's "babyness." The last moments before we moved onto the next phase. There was no rush. Just the sound of Gracie slowly and steadily breathing in and out.

I know that there isn't a magic moment where the clock strikes midnight and my baby magically turns into a toddler. Tomorrow will be just another Thursday in September. A day that will go on as usual. But it will mean the beginning of something new and something incredible for Grace. The next phase. Toddlerhood.

Oh hey, its 12:22am

Happy Birthday Gracie.