Mema Arrives

Monday morning my Mom was arriving. We all got up and Aaron and Grace got ready and headed out the door. I tidied my apartment, hoping to give the illusion that despite having a baby a week prior that I totally had it together. In between cleaning piles of random items and doing the dishes, I texted with my Mom "What gate are you at?" and "Have you reached the baggage claim?" Despite her flight arriving at 8:30am the baggage claim and the traffic from the airport pushed her arrival to the apartment further and further. Suddenly we had a conflict since Christian had a doctor's appointment at 9:40am and I needed to head out the door. I got Christian ready and headed out the door with Aaron calling and telling me that they would meet us there.

Instead of meeting Christian in the walls of our home, my Mom first met him in the waiting room at the Doctor's office.

Despite the surroundings the moment was no less special. There is something so remarkable about seeing your Mom love on your baby. And the first moments when she established that Grandma connection were amazing. i'm so glad I had my phone out to capture it.

And then my Mom went to work. Snuggling Christian.

Going on shopping trips with Grace and buying her chocolate donuts and caramel popcorn.

Taking pool trips

Reading books

And playing bubbles

My posse on their "compuners" as Grace would say. And Grace's computer is a doctor kit box.

She kept the house functioning, did laundry, made meals, cleaned, and grocery shopped so that Aaron and I could do lots of this:

And this:

Because it was so desperately needed.

We did our best to pamper her and make her feel loved

We even planned a pedicure date, which despite our best efforts she insisted on paying for.

Christian's belly button finally fell off and healed before my Mom went home so she was able to give him his first bath

And then her trip had to come to an end. She made an amazing brunch of waffles with pecans for us before Aaron took her to the airport. I cried hard when she left. I didn't have the right words to express my gratitude for the things she had done for us. She put her life on hold to take care of me and my family, picking up all of the responsibilities that I had to forego in order to care for baby Christian. So I hugged her tight and hoped that all the feelings of gratitude I had would translate in that hug, and I told her "I hope you know how grateful I am." And then I watched her walk away, watching her pause briefly on the stairs to say "You can do this. You'll be great."

Filling in the Gaps

Right now Christian is 6 weeks old. A lot has happened in those six weeks and there are things that I don't want to forget. The first six weeks after a baby is born seem to be so special, yet so easy to forget since you're sleep deprived and operating in survival mode. Memory brain power always seems to be lacking when you're in survival mode. So please, bear with me as I do my best to keep these events fresh in my mind. 

My Mom was on our annual family beach trip when the baby was born, so there was some lag time between when we got home from the hospital (Thursday) and when she could fly out (Monday). It was just us as a brand new family of four. I basically lived on one corner of the couch. It had everything that I needed and nursing took so long that by the time Christian had eaten, gotten changed, and we snuggled, it was time for him to eat again. My tired body was more than happy to take up residence in one location, breaking only to "sleep" in my bed at night.

Aaron had offered to help someone move on the same day we got home from the hospital. He checked and double checked with me if it was alright for him to be gone for an hour that evening and I told him it was fine with me. Suddenly as the minutes drew near I started panicking. Me, in my apartment, alone with two kids for an hour? He left and I'm pretty sure I perspired to the point of severe dehydration. What if everything went terribly terribly wrong all at the same time? But it was just fine. Grace and I played while Christian napped. Although it was a smooth experience I breathed a serious sigh of relief when Aaron got home, and then went and reapplied more deodorant.

Those first days at home were so surreal. Here we were in familiar surroundings yet everything felt a little bit different. We had expanded as a family, but our expansion was a small, sleepy, cuddly little babe that didn't require too many functional changes but somehow changed everything. And boy, were we in love.

Before Christian was born I was nervous about the first few days. How were we going to manage with me recovering and no Moms in town. But Aaron more than stepped up to the plate. He went from working full time to being a full time Dad. It seemed like the most natural transition for him. He knew the routines, kept us all fed, and made sure each family member got their much needed attention. Grace soaked him up like a sponge. Dad was the favorite and there was no doubt about it.

After a few days I could tell that Grace needed to spend some time with just me, and I needed a moment outside of the apartment, so Grace and I headed to the store for a very quick errand and stopped briefly at the mall play area for her to get some energy out before I got the text, "The boss is hungry," which directed our little excursion back home. Although the fresh air and familiarity of running errands with my girl were so nice, my body hurt and I was dying to cuddle and hold my sweet brand new baby in my arms.

Those first few days were laced with some stressful moments and a few tears but overall they were calm and peaceful. Days that we spent as a tiny family of four soaking up the newness of life together.

By Sunday we got prepped and ready for the help to arrive. And doing laundry is a whole lot more enjoyable with a newborn babe in your sights.

What's in a Name?

For those of you who know me well, you knew that I was extremely stressed out about the name of this child. Pretty much the opposite of laid back and go-with-the-flow. Aaron and I couldn't decide on a name for the life of us. Finally, two days before our gender ultrasound we settled on a girl name, first and middle. I took it as a sign that we would have a girl since we actually agreed on something. Two days passed and we learned that we would have to put that name on the shelf since a little boy would be joining our family. So we were back to square one, not agreeing on anything. I wanted a more unique name, something that I hadn't heard a bizillion times before. Aaron wanted a more traditional name, one that he had actually heard of before. It was hard to fit both criteria into the same name.

We came up with a master list, and not a week later we scrapped every name on the list. When we found a name that we both felt okay about, we would give it a trial run of sorts. Taking a few days to mull the name over, find any unfortunate nicknames, see how it sounded when we talked about the baby, etc. Does this make us sound crazy? Well, mostly me. Aaron wasn't as gung-ho as I was in the trial run process. We agreed on a name at one point but there was one hang up that I couldn't get over. So yet again, we scrapped it. For whatever reason I was so worried about naming this child that I started praying that the right name would magically come to us. I was scared we would be in the hospital with the social security people breathing down our necks and me perspiring to the point of dehydration because we couldn't agree on something. I didn't want to compromise. I wanted both parties to love the name equally. Naming a child is a big deal and I didn't want Aaron or myself to just feel okay about something.

For a while I gave up on my name finding quest, mostly because I needed to take a serious chill pill. A few weeks later I approached the topic again. Grace was asleep, I was sitting on the couch and Aaron was standing at the countertop. I said, "Aaron I really want to find a name for this baby. I am honestly stressed out about it."Aaron responded, "Well maybe we're approaching it the wrong way. Maybe we need to be pairing names with middle names and then it might be easier." Aaron was such a trooper when it came to my pregnancy craziness. Such a good man. I said, "Okay, have anything in mind?" He said, "Nothing in particular, but what about Christian (and he paired it with a middle name)?" I liked it, I mean I really really liked it and I said as much to Aaron. No need to pair any other names, because the name Christian struck a serious chord with me. The name Christian had come up earlier, in passing, and I didn't really think anything of it, but in this moment it felt so very right. We talked about the associations we had with the name, all of them were positive, and decided to give it a trial run.

The more time went by the more I liked the name. I liked the way it sounded, I liked that it felt right, and I didn't feel weird referring to the baby as Christian. I was sold. After a few days Aaron said to me, "I'm not sold on the middle name we picked. I want it to mean something more, and I want to to pay homage to someone who means a lot to me." We decided then that our boy's middle name would be Clark.

Clark is the last name of one of Aaron's closest friends. (Clark is also doubly special for me since it is my Grandmother's maiden name). Aaron met Trey Clark while they were on their missions in Taiwan. Meeting Trey and becoming missionary companions with him was a huge turning point for Aaron. It changed him for the better and set him on the path that led him to me and to where we are today. We wanted our son to have his name not only for his influence but also for the type of person that he is. Trey is a great example love, loyalty, and perseverance and we hoped our son would follow in his footsteps. 

So there we had it, our son's name would be Christian Clark. I loved it. It felt right and more importantly it was special for us. I felt like my prayers were answered and the name did fall right into our laps. However, because I felt like the name was special I didn't want anyone to taint it. I didn't want to see people's reactions when they would ask what the name was, or hear about anyone that they knew with that name and how they were a tool in high school. So Aaron and I decided not to tell anyone. We also figured in keeping it a secret, that it would make "the big reveal" on his birthday more exciting. Boy did we get some mixed reactions when it came to telling people we were keeping it a secret. Lots of people were supportive, but some people didn't understand why it was such a big deal. Some people constantly guessed what it was, and others gave the baby nicknames (like A.J. for Aaron junior). It made the whole experience very fun.

We talked to Grace about Baby Christian and referred to him by name all the time. When his clothes were in the dresser they were Baby Christian's clothes, and we would say "Baby Christian will be coming soon." I think it helped Grace mentally prepare and associate the name with the baby when she actually met him. However, it also caused her to spill the beans a few times. Thankfully people couldn't really understand her but a few people did and it was so hard to stop her from saying his name when they would ask her "Are you excited for your baby brother?" Overall, we were able to keep it under wraps and by the time I was induced I was more than ready to finally share his name.

I love his name, the way it looks, the way it sounds and I'm so excited that we found something that we both loved. Although right now we call him Bubby, Bubbers, and CCB, he'll grow up and grow into the name we love so much.

The Word is Out

Aaron is going back to school!

He put his two weeks notice in at his job so the word is finally out.

He will be doing a full-time MBA at Southern Methodist University starting August 10th, 2012.

Although this wasn't the original plan when we moved to Dallas, it has definitely proven to be the right choice for us. Everything seemed to fall perfectly into place as we moved towards making this decision.

We are excited for this new adventure and new chapter in our lives, although it does seem weird that after 4 years out of school we will be going back to the "student lifestyle" if you will.

SMU is in Dallas so we won't be moving (hallelujah) and we're grateful to be staying in our current area and apartment since we love it so much.

As of August 10th, we'll all officially be Mustangs.

Here's to new adventures and a whole lot of student loan debt!

Frenulum

After Christian was born, one of the first things the pediatric nurse noticed was that he was a little "tongue-tied." Meaning that his frenulum, or the skin underneath his tongue that holds his tongue down, came almost to the tip of his tongue. It gave his tongue a sort of heart shape and he could barely stick it outside of his mouth as evidenced in the picture below.

There are possibilities for difficulties nursing and future speech problems with babies who are "tongue-tied." However, that doesn't mean that he would for sure end up with a problem. Aaron and I decided to go ahead and get his frenulum clipped to avoid any possible problems down the road. I'm so glad that we did because the days before his appointment with the ENT I was solely pumping and bottle feeding because nursing was excruciatingly painful.

The procedure was pretty straight forward, and because he was a newborn he didn't need any anesthesia. My Mom had Grace and Aaron and I went to Christian's appointment together. Thank heavens Aaron was there, because a parent was required to stay with the baby during the procedure. I was in the next room over trying really hard not to cry my eyes out, and not succeeding in my efforts. The moment they left I started biting my lip in an effort to stop the tears. Aaron said he only cried when they held him down and put the device in his mouth, but not when his frenulum was actually clipped. I heard his crying and completely lost my marbles in the next room.

They brought him back wrapped in a white towel, to catch any blood, I nursed him and we waited for 15 minutes to make sure that everything was fine. Aaron and I laughed as we watched Christian discovering the new movements he could make with his tongue. He kept sticking it out of his mouth and moving it around.

 We packed our little man up and headed home to recuperate from our traumatic morning. And by we, I mean me, because Christian seemed totally un-phased.

Thankfully nursing has gotten so much better since his frenulum was clipped. And we also learned that being "tongue-tied" is genetic. When Aaron's Mom got here she told us she got her clipped as a baby. So Christian is a Barnard through and through.

Existence

I do still exist, I promise. Every day I have a mental battle with myself in regards to my "To Do" list. I have about 14 different blog posts that I want to write, Thank you notes to be done and sent, an apartment that really should be cleaned, amongst 17 billion other things. When I carve out some time where those things can be done, the #1 thing on my "To Do" list always wins: Sleep. I am in pure survival mode, and when there is a window of opportunity where sleep can be had, I jump on it like nobodies business.

This is a common sight at our house. Christian usually ends up in our bed after his first feeding of the day because the 2 foot walk from our bed to his bassinet seems too long at 7 in the morning. (read: laziness)

So for the time being please bear with me. There are lots of things to be written and documented since we left the hospital, lots of things I don't want to forget, (because heaven only knows in my sleep deprived state these memories won't stick in my brain) so there will be more posts coming at some point or another. Until then, I will be napping.

The Birth Story: The After

Eventually the nurses came back into the labor room to finish up the routine things that the baby needed, we gathered our things together, and were wheeled to our post-partum room.

Our first order of business was to introduce Grace to her new baby brother. We had been referring to the baby by his name when I was pregnant, and it was nice to finally prove to her that "Baby Christian" was an actual person and not just my huge belly

We had gotten gifts for the two kids to exchange, and Grace was excited to finally give Christian his. Can you see her putting his gift into the bassinet in the picture below. I have to admit, it was hard to keep it together when I saw how sweet she was with him.

We spent the afternoon together as a family of four and then Aaron headed home with Grace for the night.

The next day was July 4th, I had Aaron bring Christian's festive onesie so we could kick our holiday celebrations into high gear.

We had some festively dressed visitors come by to meet Chrisitan.

Our wonderful friends watched Grace that afternoon so Aaron and I could spend some time together and with the new babe. Aaron brought an apple pie and we ordered some vanilla ice cream. We didn't see any fireworks, but we figured apple pie was a pretty good second best to celebrate Independence Day.

Aaron took Grace home every night, so both nights in the hospital it was just me and Christian. At first I was nervous to have it just be me, but this ended up being one of my favorite experiences. It was just me and my boy together. I didn't worry about anyone or anything else. Time wasn't an issue. We snuggled and slept, or didn't sleep. The hospital was quiet and peaceful and I soaked in every quiet moment knowing that the two of us probably wouldn't have an opportunity to do this again.

Although on the second night I was pretty delirious and couldn't tell the difference between my dreams and reality. I started talking to people who I thought were in the room and my talking woke me up only for me to realize that the room was empty and I for sure was talking to no one.

Aaron and Grace joined us for our final morning at the hospital. Grace was a huge fan of my bed and the cartoons playing on the TV.

But she also had a soft spot for her brother and helped when he needed to be burped.

Christian had his first blow-out that morning in the hospital which completely ruined his 4th of July onesie.

We got visited by the therapy dogs which were making their rounds through the hospital.

We packed everything up, (much to Christian's chagrin apparently)

Said goodbye to the incredible nurses (and I really mean incredible).

And after the most epic temper tantrum on the planet thrown by Grace on the car ride, we were finally home with our little boy.